people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
