I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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