Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
