wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
True strength comes from lack of pants
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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