I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
