I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
