Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
