I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
