forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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