I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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