It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
