Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
