I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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