I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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