Your dad touched me again.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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