guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
