not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As shirtless as possible
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
