and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
