At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
