You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
