So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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