dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
