i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
