If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
