You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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