You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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