fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
