Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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