Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
