is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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