I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
