im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
