you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
