yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
