I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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