So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize