Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
