Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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