Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
