Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
