Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
