Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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