last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've blown a few things in my day
and she was petting her beer can
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
