Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
