I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I party with great urgency now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
