After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
