wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
