just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
