I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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