I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
