i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
