i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
