He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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