This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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