You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
